Does your elevator go all the way to the top?

I was riding the elevator at college this morning. A guy got in on the 3rd floor.

Elevator announces in electronic voice: 3rd Floor; going up!

Guy: Hi, you going all the way up to the top?

Me: Yep.

Guy: I just need to go up one floor. Is that the 5th floor?

Me: Um, you got in on the 3rd floor so I think you want to go to the 4th.

Guy: Oh, yeah, makes sense.

Help someone in need today. Check.

Thinking before speaking can eliminate embarrassment

I attended Entrepreneurial Management class last night. We discussed the company Idea Village and how they market products.

We started off by asking everyone to participate in discussing the success of this product:
We discussed the appeal to women because not only was it gentle on the face but women didn’t want to be seen using a man’s razor on their face.

Then we moved on to everyone discussing this product:
Turned out that one guy in the class not only owned the product but loved the product and would have sold one to all male classmates if he could. He highlighted the ease of using the product on nose and ear hair.

Since we only had to read about those two products prior to class, I assumed we were done. Much to my dismay, this lovely image then appeared on the powerpoint screen:
My horror grew when the professor #1 said, “Now, this is a product that we need to get a female’s point of view. Melinda, where would you use this product?”

My eyes grew wide and I choked, “Where, you want to where I would use this product?”

Professor #1, “Yep, where, as a female, would you use this product?”

Me, with bright red face and hearing chatter and laughter from the class, “Well, um…”

Professor #2, “OK, OK, I think want the professors to keep their jobs.”

Professor #1, “Oh, yeah, I meant, where as in the beach, vacation, home…”

At that point there was so much laughter and chaos in the classroom that I never really did get to respond.

"Math is a wonderful thing...Math is a really cool thing"

Last night at IHOP the cashier rang us up wrong. As she was re-calculating our change she turned to us and said "...and you gave me a twenty-five dollar bill, right?"

um...close enough? Time to go back to college.

You've Got Mail!

I recently received this email from my University to University full-time employees.

Subject: New checkout for wireless microphones in audio classrooms

Procedures regarding wireless microphones for classrooms with audio systems are changing. In the past, the microphones have stayed in the classrooms. This gave faculty little control over the availability and condition of the microphone. Now the Office of IT will, on request, distribute microphones to departments; faculty can then check out these microphones for long-term or short-term use. This system will allow faculty members to personally ensure that they have a microphone when needed.

Those who use the microphones will be responsible to (1) keep batteries fresh, and (2) set the microphone to the correct channel for the classroom.

Blah, blah, blah…detailed instructions can be found at blah, blah, blah…

I followed the link included in the email because I was curious to read about “Wireless Microphone Instructions”. I learned some good recommendation from the article and have renamed it “Wireless Microphone Instructions for Dummies”. Some snippets for dummies:

1. These microphones are for use in the eighty classrooms where receivers are installed and work only in these classrooms.

2. Occasionally, you will enter a spot where the receiver will not detect a signal. Return to where the signal was strong.

3. Be aware that the microphone receiver may pick up a signal outside the room. To avoid embarrassment, turn off the mic when leaving a room.

Good, simple advice. Thanks college!

All in a Day's Work

Another semester of college started today. The phone rang nearly all day. Here is just a small sample of the random phone calls we received today:

Us: Dean’s Office, Can I help you?
Caller #1: Yes, I need to talk to someone about how to get into the MBA Program.
Us: Great, I can transfer you to their office for more information.
Caller #1: You can’t help me?
Us: Um, this is the Dean’s Office and you will probably get the best information from the MBA department.
Caller #1: OK, thanks.

Us: Dean’s Office, this is Melinda.
Caller #2: (breathing)
Us: Hello? May I help you?
Caller #2: Hello?
Us: Hi. Can I help you?
Caller #2: Is this the University?
Us: Yes.
Caller #2: Hahahaha! I thought you said the University of Melinda! I was so confused!
Us: (polite chuckle) Oh, yes, that would be funny!
Caller #2: Anyway, did you see the basketball game the other night? The University really played a great game!
Us: Um, yes, I heard we did great.
Caller #2: Well, I was wondering…I didn’t get a chance to actually watch the game because I don’t get FOX network through my cable. But I called my cable company and they said that the game would be replayed later. And I want to watch it this time. Can you help me so I can watch the game?
Us: Well, this is the Dean’s Office of the Business School. I am not exactly sure about how to help you watch the game.
Caller #2: Hm, can’t you look up on the University website to see when it will rebroadcast or how I can watch FOX on my TV?
Us: I’m sorry, I don’t really know that much about cable networks. Let me transfer you to our general information number.
Caller #2: Great! I really want to see that game…

Us: Dean’s Office, Can I help you?
Caller #1 (again): Yes, you just transferred me to the MBA department. No one answered. I mean, really, can’t you transfer me to a place where someone is at their desk and will answer the phone?
Us: Uh, sorry about that. We are located in a different part of the building so we aren’t able to see if someone is sitting at that desk.
Caller #1: Listen, I really need to just talk to someone. I need you to make sure someone is at the MBA desk.
Us: OK, I can transfer you to the general MBA office phone number.
Caller #1: Someone better be there.

Us: Dean’s Office, Can I help you?
Caller #3: Hi. I graduated from the University about 40 years ago. I had a great professor in accounting and I would like to get the syllabus from that class. Can you tell me how I can get that syllabus?
Us: I am afraid we don’t have copies of syllabi. The professors keep their own copies.
Caller #3: Hm, I see. Well, I would really like a copy of that syllabus.
Us: Do you remember the name of the professor and perhaps I could find the email address for you?
Caller #3: Nope. That was 40 years ago. Can’t you find it on my transcript?
Us: Um, I am able to view the classes that you took but I am afraid it doesn’t list the name of the professor.
Caller #3: So, how can I find the syllabus?
Us: Perhaps the accounting office can help you track down your professor. Let me transfer you…

Us: Dean’s Office, Can I help you?
Caller #4: Hi, Can I get some free paper?
Us: Um, you’re looking for free paper?
Caller #4: Yes, I need free paper.
Us: Were you looking for a specific kind of paper?
Caller #4: Yes, like a notebook. A free notebook.
Us: I am afraid we don’t distribute free paper or notebooks.
Caller #4: What?! You used to! I need some free paper!
Us: Sorry, I am afraid I don’t know about a free notebook distribution.
Caller #4: Fine. (Click)

Us: Dean’s Office, Can I help you?
Caller #5: Hi, I have my first class today but I don’t know where to go.
Us: OK, do you know the name of the class?
Caller #5: No, I can’t remember. All I remember is that it is in the Business building.
Us: Do you happen to know the professor’s name?
Caller #5: Nope. I did get an email from him that told me where the class would be held. But I don’t remember what the email said.
Us: Uh-huh. I wonder, do you still have that email? There is a computer lab on the third floor and you could look it up there.
Caller #5: Yeah, it’s just that I don’t have a lot of time and you should have a list of the classes.
Us: Do you happen to know what time it starts?
Caller #5: Well, I think it might be at 11:00am or 12:30pm. Or maybe it was 2:00pm. I can’t really remember.
Us: I see. I think it might be most helpful if you find the email from your professor. Or the University website will have a list of your classes.
Caller #5: Yeah, I guess I could do that. It might almost be time for my class to start.
Us: Yep. Good luck!
Caller #5: Thanks!