All in a Day's Work

Another semester of college started today. The phone rang nearly all day. Here is just a small sample of the random phone calls we received today:

Us: Dean’s Office, Can I help you?
Caller #1: Yes, I need to talk to someone about how to get into the MBA Program.
Us: Great, I can transfer you to their office for more information.
Caller #1: You can’t help me?
Us: Um, this is the Dean’s Office and you will probably get the best information from the MBA department.
Caller #1: OK, thanks.

Us: Dean’s Office, this is Melinda.
Caller #2: (breathing)
Us: Hello? May I help you?
Caller #2: Hello?
Us: Hi. Can I help you?
Caller #2: Is this the University?
Us: Yes.
Caller #2: Hahahaha! I thought you said the University of Melinda! I was so confused!
Us: (polite chuckle) Oh, yes, that would be funny!
Caller #2: Anyway, did you see the basketball game the other night? The University really played a great game!
Us: Um, yes, I heard we did great.
Caller #2: Well, I was wondering…I didn’t get a chance to actually watch the game because I don’t get FOX network through my cable. But I called my cable company and they said that the game would be replayed later. And I want to watch it this time. Can you help me so I can watch the game?
Us: Well, this is the Dean’s Office of the Business School. I am not exactly sure about how to help you watch the game.
Caller #2: Hm, can’t you look up on the University website to see when it will rebroadcast or how I can watch FOX on my TV?
Us: I’m sorry, I don’t really know that much about cable networks. Let me transfer you to our general information number.
Caller #2: Great! I really want to see that game…

Us: Dean’s Office, Can I help you?
Caller #1 (again): Yes, you just transferred me to the MBA department. No one answered. I mean, really, can’t you transfer me to a place where someone is at their desk and will answer the phone?
Us: Uh, sorry about that. We are located in a different part of the building so we aren’t able to see if someone is sitting at that desk.
Caller #1: Listen, I really need to just talk to someone. I need you to make sure someone is at the MBA desk.
Us: OK, I can transfer you to the general MBA office phone number.
Caller #1: Someone better be there.

Us: Dean’s Office, Can I help you?
Caller #3: Hi. I graduated from the University about 40 years ago. I had a great professor in accounting and I would like to get the syllabus from that class. Can you tell me how I can get that syllabus?
Us: I am afraid we don’t have copies of syllabi. The professors keep their own copies.
Caller #3: Hm, I see. Well, I would really like a copy of that syllabus.
Us: Do you remember the name of the professor and perhaps I could find the email address for you?
Caller #3: Nope. That was 40 years ago. Can’t you find it on my transcript?
Us: Um, I am able to view the classes that you took but I am afraid it doesn’t list the name of the professor.
Caller #3: So, how can I find the syllabus?
Us: Perhaps the accounting office can help you track down your professor. Let me transfer you…

Us: Dean’s Office, Can I help you?
Caller #4: Hi, Can I get some free paper?
Us: Um, you’re looking for free paper?
Caller #4: Yes, I need free paper.
Us: Were you looking for a specific kind of paper?
Caller #4: Yes, like a notebook. A free notebook.
Us: I am afraid we don’t distribute free paper or notebooks.
Caller #4: What?! You used to! I need some free paper!
Us: Sorry, I am afraid I don’t know about a free notebook distribution.
Caller #4: Fine. (Click)

Us: Dean’s Office, Can I help you?
Caller #5: Hi, I have my first class today but I don’t know where to go.
Us: OK, do you know the name of the class?
Caller #5: No, I can’t remember. All I remember is that it is in the Business building.
Us: Do you happen to know the professor’s name?
Caller #5: Nope. I did get an email from him that told me where the class would be held. But I don’t remember what the email said.
Us: Uh-huh. I wonder, do you still have that email? There is a computer lab on the third floor and you could look it up there.
Caller #5: Yeah, it’s just that I don’t have a lot of time and you should have a list of the classes.
Us: Do you happen to know what time it starts?
Caller #5: Well, I think it might be at 11:00am or 12:30pm. Or maybe it was 2:00pm. I can’t really remember.
Us: I see. I think it might be most helpful if you find the email from your professor. Or the University website will have a list of your classes.
Caller #5: Yeah, I guess I could do that. It might almost be time for my class to start.
Us: Yep. Good luck!
Caller #5: Thanks!